Writing a book is just so hard sometimes

I feel like I've been talking about my struggles with writing a book way too much lately, but it's the only thing on my mind.

I didn't really realize how hard it would be to write a book. I have the idea and I have the words, but putting everything together is just a different story. The worst part about writing a book right now is that I am the only one reading it. I can't tell if it's good or if it's total crap. I just don't know...

Because I chose to write a young adult dystopian with a hint of mystery, it is ten times more difficult. I don't know if you've ever thought about this, but it's extremely hard to plot mysteries. You have to leave just enough breadcrumbs to keep things going, but you can't leave a whole bag of crumbs because then you'll be giving too much away.

Lately my excuse for not wanting to do something is "I'm trying to plot a plan to steer someone in the wrong direction" or "I'm trying to figure out a way to make so-and-so think someone else is the bad guy". One time I even told someone I couldn't do something because I was too busy "plotting against the government". It's funny to see people's reactions to my excuses, especially when they have absolutely no clue what I'm talking about and don't know I'm writing a dystopian. Even though I'm saying I'm doing these things, I'm not really plotting anything. I just don't know where to start sometimes, and I just sit at my desk, staring blankly at my laptop screen and hoping something will come to me.

Also, I thought about putting up a chapter or two here to see how great/terrible my story is so far, but you guys never talk to me so it'd be pointless. But at the same time, I want to know what people, strangers who don't really know me, think about my story and my writing.

I don't know... For now though, I think the plans to mess with my main character is starting to come together. But really, I'm just going with the flow. I don't really know if that's a good thing or not.

Anyway, hope your week will go well!