Thinking hurts my brain

Final year of high school means decisions, decisions, and more fucking decisions. What do you want to do with your life? That's the big question, isn't it? It's so stupid how we (as young people) have to decide our futures at the age of 17/18. It's so shitty, I can't even tell you... There might be some vulgar slang (vulgar slang... that's weird, I don't know why I used that...) in this post; you have been forewarned. Don't read on if that makes you uncomfortable... But I won't swear that much... I think...

When you really think about it, our school systems are really messed up. I mean, school is basically testing people's ability to memorize facts and formulas, ranking people from "smart" to "stupid", and dumping a ton of unnecessary stress on students. It doesn't even matter anymore about the learning; it's all about the grades and percentages. Get the good grades and you'll go far in life. Yeah, bullshit. I think part of the notion of getting A's and above 90%s comes from universities, and their strange demands. You can't even go to university to broaden your education if you don't get the letters and numbers they want from you.

So much is on the line during the last year of high school (at least for me, but I'm pretty sure many of you are going through the same stuff too). It's absolutely insane. It's like school, but more like universities and colleges, are trying to push us to the point of breaking, to see who is strong enough to resist their pressure. All school does is pile on the homework until you can't breathe under the pressure. Schools require kids to be smart, but also active, and don't forget about going out into the community and helping. I swear, schools think we have nothing else better to do. They act like we don't have homework and studying to do to get The Glorious A to want us to acquire; they act like all we do is sit around and "surf the web".

And on top of getting The As and finishing school, I have to decide which universities I want to go to next year and apply to them. But the problem is I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO STUDY/DO WITH MY LIFE YET! I can't decide the rest of my life if I don't even know what to do with my life. It's hard.... Life is crappy right now.

My parents want me to go to a good academic university (as in the university is good for its name), and I am kinda leaning towards going to an art university. Our ideas of my future are conflicting.... I'm so fucked.

I told my dad the other day that I might decide to go to an art school if they accept me instead of going to the school he wants me to go to. And he just flipped out on me. He was like whatttt? But I could tell by his face that he was thinking more on the lines of what the fuck is wrong with you, you idiot? And he went on saying how if I don't get into a good school (translates into "the school I want you to go to") than I'm not gonna have a good future. He said art universities are just extra stuff I can attend after getting a bachelor's degree or what you call it from an academic university. He was all like don't waste your time and my money on art school. But if I go to the university he wants me to go to, and I don't even like it there, then wouldn't I be wasting my time and his money there? Wouldn't doing something I don't like waste all the time I could be using to do something I love? Think about it...

Just thinking about the future makes me want to slam a sledgehammer into my skull (not for real though, of course. That would hurt. A lot). But anyways... I'm off to stress over my future! Super fun times!