How am I still alive?

As much as I hate to admit it, I'm a pretty reckless driver. (Maybe that's why I failed my driver's test...) When I drive, I'm a little too overconfident in my skills. I always think hey! I'm a better driver than my mom, so I have to be a great driver! BUT NO. I always drive like Uhh! Whatever! and that's why I always get into near accidents on the road.

I'm surprised I'm still alive... I mean, I have been in a quite a few almost accidents!

The first time: I had been driving for only a month or two, so you can imagine how amazing of a driver I was. I was driving down the busy road like whatever. I got this, it's all good, and it was all good for a while. I could never get into an accident, because I'm a FANTASTIC driver. I was already going ABOVE the speed limit, and keeping up with the traffic flow. And then I turned my head to the left, just to check on traffic... Meanwhile the car was still going at 60-65 km/hr (which is above the speed limit where I live; speed limit is 50 km/hr in the city) and was speeding down the road! Suddenly my mom's like "STOP THE CAR!!!!!" and I turned my head back to the front and the back of the car in front of me was getting larger by the second. I slammed on the brakes and stopped merely 1 foot away from that car. So... That was a close one!

Then this happened: The second time I've gotten into an almost crash. I was driving down a bustling road... At night... In the dark. And again, I was driving above the speed limit (I never learn...), looking left and right like uh and not really seeing what's around me. I hit the intersection and the car in front of me, which was a good 30 feet away started to brake for the car in front of it because that other car was turning or whatever. So I, being the arrogant dumb ass I am, was like I don't need to brake yet. Psh, by the time I get there the car will have started moving again! I'll just take my foot off the gas petal and the car will slow down by itself because it has a mind of its own. Yeah, well, it didn't, and I went speeding towards the slowing car in front like a rocket! My dad was like "HIT! THE! BRAKE!!!!!" and I do and stopped. And you wouldn't guess how close I was to that car... 1 foot-ish away from it! Oops...

But wait! There's more! I just don't remember them as clearly... But there's yesterday...

Yesterday: I was picking my brother up from school, and as I was driving down the little road and headed towards the main, big road, I saw that the light was going to turn red and a car wanted to turn but it looked like it was going to wait for me but at the same time looked like it was going to go and make me brake for it. So mindlessly, I sped through the intersection. Why? Because I thought hey, that car wants to turn, I better go faster to give it more time to turn! Stupid right? I know... Anyways, I sped across the intersection, and I was looking forward but wasn't seeing anything. And to my horror, a big black car was stopped in front of me because there was a bus and I was flying towards it like I was on some race course. And AGAIN! For like the MILLIONTH TIME, I go rocketing towards the car in front of me! Wow! So again, with my mom's urgent and frantic scream to hit the brake, I stopped. And I STOPPED A FOOT ISH FROM THE CAR IN FRONT OF ME! What the hell?

If you've never driven or haven't gotten into any accidents or near-accidents, it might be hard to imagine the absolute horror I felt when I saw the rears of those cars zooming into view at the speed of light. I am, by some miracle, still alive and okay. I am really messed up in the head; I'm not messed up from accidents or anything, just naturally stupid like that!

You would think that almost dying so many times would be like a wake up call, but I just never seem to catch on. I don't know what to do with myself. Every time after the close call, I think NEVER AGAIN! NEVER. THE. FUCK. AGAIN. WILL I BE SO RECKLESS. But then it still happens.