The stress of being stressed

You know that feeling of being stressed so you go to take a break, but during your break all you do is stress about how you're wasting your time by taking a break so you go back to work but the overwhelming amount of work you have to do stresses you out even more, so you just end up being a maelstrom of stress and angry-crying?

Yeah... That's me all day every day.

I'd say that I'm a pro procrastinator, the Queen of Procrastination.

On school days, when I have more homework than any average person can handle, I will do LITERALLY EVERYTHING but my homework: I will go on tumblr (which is the ultimate, go-to source for procrastinators) to "check and see if there's anything new" (haha, we all know how that ends...), I will read like half a book, aimlessly watch youtube videos, I'll take a nap (which usually lasts about 1-3 hours), I'll just lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling for a good half an hour, heck, I'll even wash the dishes or clean my room, anything to avoid doing homework. Then at 10 or 11 pm, I'll look at the clock and have a heart attack because I haven't started my homework yet and I promised myself I would sleep before 2am, but there's no way that's going to happen now since I haven't started my homework yet. Keep in mind that I had all the time in the world to do my homework and then relax, but I chose to waste it to avoid being stressed over working. And now, at 11pm, I am MORE STRESSED than I could ever imagine because I am running out of time to do my homework.

So good job (*gives self a pat on the back*)! By avoiding the stress of homework, I had burden myself with even more stress!

I start stressing out because of the shortage of time. So I'll procrastinate even more when I should be doing work. Then I'll be overwhelmed by the stress that I'm avoiding while procrastinating. I'll be annoyed at myself for stressing myself out. And by being angry at myself and worrying about what to do, I'll be wasting EVEN MORE time, and then I get EVEN MORE stressed.

The cycle of torturous stress and addictive procrastination is never-ending and unavoidable. You can't one but not the other; they coexist; they're like partners in crime. And by the end of the day, I'm just an angry-sobbing, hair-pulling girl who is stressed because she procrastinated to dodge the ball of stress.

Every day, I promise myself that I won't procrastinate and I won't stress myself out. Then I see the overwhelming and ever-growing pile of stuff I have to do, and fall into the deep, dark hole of doom that is procrastination and stress, and then the cycle begins. Being stressed is stressful!