I can't read

Recently, I finished an application to an university (well, more like a few weeks ago), but I just, like right now, realized I screwed up my application. It's not the kind of mistake that can be easily overlooked, like a minor spelling error; it's the kind of mistake that could potentially cost me a chance to get admission into the university. So, good job! I just increased my chances of not getting into the school.

I fucked up real good.

I have a habit of reading important, vital information without actually reading it. You know how sometimes you'll read something but not understand anything because you were looking at the words rather than reading the words? I do that all the time. I always assume I know what the text is saying, but really, I don't have the slightest clue as to what the text is really saying. I just kind of skim through words, run my eyeballs over words, and be like yeah, whatever, I got this. But I never got anything. I do this whenever there is something important to read. I do it on tests, quizzes, exams!!! Legal information sheets! UNIVERSITY APPLICATIONS! Everything!!!

It's such a stupid thing to do, yet I do it all the freaking time! And I never seem to learn my lesson. I will screw up, then promise myself I'll never be careless again. And then, the next time something très important comes up, I do it all over again and screw myself over.

I don't have to be cursed or plagued with bad karma to have this kind of misfortune happen to me, I do it all on my own. I plague myself with bad luck.

I can't even tell you how many times I've realized I messed up when it's beyond too late.

So many things are on the line right now, my whole future is on the line, and I keep ruining opportunities with my carelessness. I keep tripping myself from behind (if that's even possible).

My whole life is one big joke to me because I can't seem to stop myself from screwing myself over.