Oh, the power I feel saying "no"

Haha! I feel sooooo powerful right now, you don't even know. Well, maybe you do.

I hate saying "no" to people, 1) because I feel bad, 2) I should always be kind. But I've just discovered the amazing feeling of saying "no" to someone. Well, actually something/a group of people?/business?/I don't know what I was going for...

Anywayssss!!! I DECLINE MY FIRST UNIVERSITY ADMISSIONS OFFER!!! I know when some of you read this, you're probably thinking what the actual fuck is wrong with you?! Why are you happy about declining an university offer! But hear me out.

So January-February ish I applied to several universities, thinking that I wasn't going to make it into any. But come April, and I got big, fat envelope-packages from ALL the universities I applied for. First thought when I saw them: shit.... I didn't plan for this... Because if you know me, you know that I like to plan for the worst, I like to set my expectations low, real low, to avoid disappointments of course. I never plan for the best scenarios, so when that happened... I didn't know what to do. I wasn't going to one of these schools because I forgot to apply for housing and because this school was my backup's backup. Another school, I only applied because EVERYONE applies to this school and my parents have pounded and drilled the idea of success for the future coming from ONLY this school and not getting into this school meant the hobo life for me, which right now sounds good. Just kidding... nobody wants to be homeless... I applied to an art university, which I really didn't think I was going to apply for back in early fall last year, I didn't think my artwork was good enough, but by some miracle the school thought I was worthy... so I somehow got accepted. And then's there the other backup school, the one that I might consider.

This stuff is besides the point.

The point is I DECLINED/REJECTED one of the schools that offered me admission. Can you guess which one?

I declined the offer to the school EVERYONE applied to, the one my parents dreamt of me going to. Well... suckers...

There's something so good about saying "no" to someone. In this scenario anyways. It's like they want me, but too bad, sorry, I don't want them. It's like the cheater boyfriend/girlfriend who realizes that they had someone great before and just missed it, and when they come back for forgiveness, it's too late. Except, this is a huge university, so if I say "no", they don't give a shit, they'll just offer my spot to someone else. But still, I hate that school, and I'd rather not go to school anymore than go there.

I feel so powerful having said "no" to a well-known university, something so big and daunting.

No wonder people love saying "no" all the time. It really does feel good. But only say "no" to things like declining offers to schools you know you weren't meant to be with, not to people who are in great need for help.